Saturday, January 27, 2007

Beyond the Quik Stop...

Clerks II
Rating: 6.0

In case you wondered what happened to the slackers in the first Clerks, wonder no more. In Clerks II the Quick Stop burns down, leaving Dante and Randall looking for employment. They wind up at Mooby's which is kind of like McDonalds, only with every detail turned into a joke. The door "moos" when opened. Dante is about to get married, if you can imagine that. Ironically, his fiance is Kevin Smith's wife in real life. It's hard to imagine her with either of them. She's tall, blonde, bitchy-looking, and anorexically skinny.

She would have been better suited playing the role of Dante's boss, and the manager of Mooby's, which is played by Rosario Dawson. Of course, Dante has a "thing" for his boss and vice versa. She has the same raunchy sense of humor and no nonsense way of behaving, so it's obvious they are meant to be together. But, she doesn't want to get married. Why Dante does is a mystery.

When Randall and friends decide to throw Dante a bachlor party to end all bachelor parties, everything you could possibly imagine happens, and, well, you can probably guess the ending.

The plot is formulaic. The jokes are the same. So, if you like that stuff, you won't be disappointed.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Movie for the Cubicley Caged

Office Space....Rating 8.0

If you like comedies and find the world of work sometimes sorta funny, then this is one for you.

Office Space is Mike Judge's sardonic view of those corporations where getting the right cover sheet for your TPS report is everything. It's a lot like the comic strip Dilbert, only in a movie. If you like that sort of thing, then this is the movie for you.

Peter Gibbons is an office worker who basically sleepwalks through life. He decides to go to a hypnotist to talk about his problems. When the hypnotist keels over from a heart attack before he can snap him out of his hypnosis, Peter is left in a perpetual state of not caring about work.

When he finally does show up at work a few days later, the place is in the midst of a huge downsizing. "The Bob's" are interviewing everyone and deciding on their fate. Peter comes in and the when asked what he does, he simply tells it like it is. He finds himself promoted and his snarky boss, hilariously played by Gary Cole is demoted.

The best performance is by Stephen Root who plays nerdy passive Milton who keeps finding himself getting stepped on and overlooked to the point where he just stops getting paid, but still shows up to work every day.

Anyone who does anything for a paycheck will appreciate this movie. The point of the whole thing is how the amazingly absurd the world of work can be, where an entire day can be spent on routines.

Jennifer Aniston plays Peter's girlfriend who he meets =when she is his server at Friday's like restaurant. The thing they have in common is she hates her job too, and winds up walking out when she is criticized for not wearing enough "flair".

Tuesday, January 23, 2007


Snakes on a Plane

Rating: 5.0

Ohhhhhhhh yeah.... hike up the cheese factor, it time for Snakes on a Plane. Apparently Samuel Jackson asked to be in this movie when he saw the title. When they were going to change it to something a little less obvious, he told the producers he would only do the movie if they kept the original title.

Did you guess the story? I bet you did. There are a bunch of poisonous snakes on a big 747 threatening to kill all the passengers and bring the plane down. They were put there by a very bad man who went to all that trouble to kill one little witness.

The movie is filled with CGI snakes hissing and biting. There's lots of action, some swearing, and some nudity, so don't let the kiddies watch this one.

The scenes that bothered me the most, however, were the scenes where the snakes basically devour a poor little innocent cat in the cargo area and a passenger's little dog. I mean, as if air travel isn't stressful enough for pets without having to worry about huge snakes. This movie, to say the least, is not animal friendly, so if you are an animal lover like me, you may want to pass on this one solely for that reason.

However, if you love action movies, hate snakes, and are looking for some mindless Saturday night entertainment, then go ahead and indulge.

Sunday, January 7, 2007

All Jacked Up on Mountain Dew!

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Rating: 8.3
I found this movie to be pretty darn funny. I am not a fan a "redneck humor", like Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy. However, the combination of characters in this film and the wonderful script just make this one a must-see. Ricky Bobby (Will Ferrell) grew up as the only son of a single Mom and a deadbeat father who believes "If you aren't first, you're last!" His only desire in life is to go fast, and he gets that opportunity becoming an award winning NASCAR driver. When a French Formula One driver (wonderfully played by Sascha Baron Cohen, otherwise known as Borat) starts becoming the new winner, Bobby's confidence is shaken and he soon finds himself fighting for the title of top driver.
There are a slew of humorous quotes from this movie that will just have you on the floor laughing. Here are some of the best, as taken from the Internet Movie Database. I am smiling just typing this.
Jean Girard: Hakuna Matata, bitches!
Susan: Ricky Bobby is not a thinker! Ricky Bobby is a driver!
Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: mmm-mmm...
Ricky Bobby: Dear tiny infant Jesus...
Carley Bobby: Hey, um... you know sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off puttin' to pray to a baby.
Ricky Bobby: Well look, I like the Christmas Jesus best, and I'm sayin grace. When you say grace, you can say it to grown up Jesus, or teenage Jesus, or bearded Jesus, or whatever you want.

Thursday, January 4, 2007


Rating: 6.8
Fans of poet and novelist Charles Bukowski might enjoy this one. This film version of Bukowski's short novel centers around his alter ago, Henry Chinaski. Chinaski (Matt Dillon) is an alcoholic drifter who floats from job to job, and bar to bar occasionally hooking up with women, and chronicling it all in his writing. Marisa Tomei plays one of these women, a hooker leaching off of her sugar daddy. Lily Taylor plays Jane, the woman who stays with Chinaski the longest. Taylor does an amazing job portraying Jane. She bares all in this role, and Jane comes off as somewhat comical in her pathetic devotion to Chinaski. Alcohol plays the strongest part in this tale. All of the characters are basically severe alcoholics. Bukowski set his novel during WWII, but the movie is set in present day. It's a story of disallusionment, numbness, apathy, a life wasted by alcohol. You may ask yourself "why would I want to watch such a depressing tale?" Well, some people might like that stuff.