If You Drink This Much, You Will Die

Beerfest

Rating: 5.5

"If you drink this much, you will die." This is actually a disclaimer that appears at the opening of the movie. Now, is that a sign that this movie is not for younger audiences, or what?

Beerfest is the story of two brothers who decide to train to win the annual Beerfest in their dead grandfather's name. Beerfest is sort of a secret "fight club" competition that the brothers stumble across when they travel to Oktoberfest. Dear old grandpapa loved his beer, and took the recipe of some master brew to his grave. The boys discover the recipe, and use it to create their family's favorite beer in order to help them train. Training consists of, you guessed it, drinking. A lot. Very quickly. Which leads to all sorts of escapades.

The movie great for learning new drinking games, and for watching whilst drinking with your fraternity brothers. It isn't good for much else.

Babel

Babel

Rating 9.0

This is an important movie that should be seen. Four stories from different cultures with common elements interweave throughout the film.

The first story revolves around two Moroccan boys who wind up shooting a wealthy American tourist while trying out his new rifle. The tourist is played by Cate Blanchett. Her husband is Brad Pitt. They are on a tour bus in the middle of nowhere when it happens. Blanchett is taken to the nearest village where she suffers while Pitt tries to get the US Embassy to help them out. The shooting is believed to be a terrorist attack, and the boys are hunted down.

Meanwhile, Pitt calls their Mexican immigrant housekeeper, who is watching their children at home. He informs her that she must stay with the children and miss her nephew's wedding. Torn, she agrees, and winds up shuttling the children across the Mexican border with disastrous consequences.

The rifle that was used to shoot Blanchett is connected to a Japanese businessman. His daughter Chieko is the subject of his story. She is deaf mute, and unable to voice the intense pain she suffers from her mother's death. Rinko Kikuchi plays Chieko. She does an amazing job, and it is obvious to see why she was nominated for an Academy Award. Her story is so moving, it is almost painful to watch.

Babel reminded me of Crash in the way it compared struggles across cultures and backgrounds. All of the characters are similar in their pain and misunderstanding of each other. For some it results in pain and anguish. For others, there is resolution and understanding.

I loved this film because of how well it portrayed the emotions of the characters. There is intense tragedy in each of their lives, and it is that element that connects them. There is no understanding that unites them. They do not even meet. But to the audience, it is as if they do.

It is a complex movie, but I found myself glued to the screen until the end. I highly recommend it.

The Blonde Ditzo and the Cute Funny Guy

Employee of the Month
Rating: 4.5

All I have to say about this movie is...Jessica Simpson.

Do you think she's pretty and talented? Then you'll most likely find this movie mildy entertaining. Those of us who are like me, and are revolted about the amazing popularity she receives just for being blonde, pretty, and having big boobs, will find this movie incredibly annoying.

Andy Dick and Dane Cook are mildly funny. Personally, I think Andy Dick's potential is wasted on this film, but that's just me.

Basically, Dane Cook works at a Wal Mart sort of place. His job is unloading and loading merchandise. Dax Shepard is the cashier who wins employee of the month all the time, and acts like a jerk with everyone. Jessica Simpson is the new cashier who has a history of "getting with" the employee of the month. So, Dane Cook decides to do his darndest to win that honor, even if it means taking his job seriously.

That's it. Guess how it ends.